Most people who have been through Sex Education classes has learned about AIDS, or is at least familiar with the disease. Most people immediately associate AIDS with homosexuality and promiscuity. Here are some facts about the disease:

- it is caused by human immunodeficiency virus, also known as HIV

- the disease is considered a pandemic, as it is quickly spreading over a large area

- in 2009, it is estimated that 33.4 million people are living with HIV/AIDS

- There are about 2.7 million new HIV infections per year

- Research shows that HIV began about a century ago in west central Africa

- HIV can be transmitted by sexual intercourse, blood exchange (including blood transfusions), or bodily fluid exchange

- the median time progression from HIV to AIDS is 9 to 10 years.

- Research has shown that it is highly unlikely to develop HIV after a single act of sexual intercourse

- There are about 2 million AIDS deaths per year

My cousin Jason was one of the 33.4 million people living with HIV/AIDS.

6 days ago, he became on of the 2 million AIDS deaths per year.

He is a statistic.

Jason was born on February 18, 1971. He was a mischievous child, and that continued into his adult years. He had some years of being lost, spent time doing things he shouldn’t have. Jason dabbled in drugs for quite a while, and found that being with men was the lifestyle he liked. 

There are a couple different places where he could have caught HIV. We will never know how he got it, and we really do not have to know.

I did not really have contact with Jason growing up. In fact, I don’t even have a memory with him until I was in junior high. I always knew that he was the cousin that was doing his own thing, and that he had had some bad years. When we found out of Jason’s HIV diagnosis, I made it a point to see him at least a couple times a year. Every family gathering we had, I made sure that I sat with Jason and talked with him, whether it was about his dog named Sugar Baby or Pawn Stars. 

AIDS is a disease that eats away the immune system over time. It takes some time for the immune system to completely shut down, but during the process it starts to shut down other body systems we take for granted. Jason lost a lot of his eyesight, had dementia, and became delirious often. When I would see him, I would remind him that I was his cousin Julie. Sometimes I could see the recognition in his face, and other times it wasn’t there. 

It breaks my heart that I only had a few years of an active relationship with my eldest cousin, and even then the relationship was difficult to keep up. But there are a few things that I am sure about with Jason- that I loved him for who he was, I will never judge him for his choices in life, and that he really was a great man that had a life cut short. 

In America, especially here in conservative College Station, Texas, there is a stigma attached to AIDS. Anytime I have mentioned that I knew someone battling AIDS, the first question is “Is he gay?” I’ve gotten to where I loathe that question. I do not see why that is relevant at all. The only thing that matters to me is that a mother and father had to bury their child, which I have never experienced (and I hope I never have to) but I hear is the worst moment in any parents life; sisters and brothers had to put their sibling to rest; uncles and aunts had to say goodbye to a nephew that was like another son; nieces and nephews will not have their uncle at their graduations; young cousins lost one of their own; a man lost the love of his life. 

I love Jason and I miss his presence already. I know he is without pain. Now it is his family and friends that have the pain to deal with. Living in a society that looks at AIDS as a disgusting and shameful disease doesn’t help the grieving process.